The older I get more experience I gain working for different organizations, the more I realize that good leadership is rare and good management is even rarer. I think we all see this played out on TV with the incompetence demonstrated by our business and political leaders. I don’t really know why this happens and it’s sometimes a miracle that companies get built and keep going. It’s somewhat of an enigma to me….might be a bunch of great workers covering up for the incompetence of their leaders & managers.
The reason I think good management is rarer than good leadership is that one can be a good leader by finding and getting out of the way of great talent. They can also be a visionary leader with admittedly no management skills, but they are smart enough to find the good managers, support them, and let them do what they do best. Great managers listen and then react to input in order to make the jobs/lives of their team easier, more interesting, and fun without being overbearing/micro managing. To manage people on a daily basis and make things happen with so many personalities around the table is one of the most challenging things to do well while earning the respect & admiration of your team.
When you happen upon a great leader who is also a great manager, grab on to them…you’ve found a unicorn.
Martin Luther King, Jr. had a big dream. He had more courage and vision in his pinky than most of us have in our whole bodies. Here is an except from his speech “I Have A Dream.” (Go listen to the recording of his speech at this link).
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
Thank you for dreaming Mr. King. You helped changed the world with your courage and the risks you took to make life better for all of our children. Today I will remind the kids what dreaming big can mean.
Working Motherhood/Parenthood/Fatherhood requires you to try touching your elbow to your ear (yes, I tried it to make sure it was near impossible to do so) on more occasions than you’d like to admit
I hope in all this living around parents with an accidental (prone to earthquakes) entrepreneurial foundation, my kids are learning that they have to whine a little, adapt a lot, smile, try a bunch of different things, have faith that things will turn out as they should as long as they work hard and are kind to others…including animals and a select few insects like butterflies.
The Austin Songwriters Symposium that I wrote about in my previous post was amazing! It wrapped up this morning after a Sunday morning gospel jam session with the attendees and a lunchtime jam session with the pros. I don’t attend church often, but I love gospel music and hymns…they really pull at the heart strings of us sinners non perfect people. I learned a lot about a whole different industry. It’s even harder to make it in that industry than being a high tech entrepreneur. Songwriters are entrepreneurs. The main difference is that most songwriters make it on their own merit or maybe co-write with one or two other people. To build a successful high tech company requires hundreds of people moving in the same direction and buying into the same vision. The payoff can be bigger (95% of songwriters don’t make much money) in building a company but the complexity is higher. Most songwriters seemed to originally have wanted to make it big themselves as a singer singing their own songs but find themselves barely getting by playing their own songs in clubs or the more savvy ones end up writing for the great, well-known singers.
People like Joe Ely, Sonny Throckmorton, Gary Burr, Georgia Middleman (she sang a song called Dare To Dance Alone (YouTube) this morning that she co-wrote with Gary Burr that really touched me), Will Sexton, and Matthew Santos were in attendance and were either performing and/or hosting workshops. It was an eye opener. All of them wrote their own songs or wrote songs for many of the household name country singers of our time like Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, Faith Hill, Reba McEntire, Martina McBride, Waylon Jennings, etc. I certainly don’t have any delusions visions that my songs will be published and adopted by great singers but it was nice to know I was not alone in wanting to create new songs. There were people of all ages and different stages of discovering songwriting. I met with a publisher and he had some great advice on a couple of the songs I had co-written…most of it I knew already, but there was a gem or two.
I didn’t realize before I attended how heavy the emphasis would be on country music, but I picked up a saying or two. One of them was the country music was nothing more than “three chords and the truth.” And that certainly seemed accurate to me by the end of the symposium…and the painful truth of us being human certainly comes out a lot in the lyrics of country music.
Attending the conference was a nice break from my daily routine and it was great to hear world class music played by people who obviously loved what they did. I was so impressed how they could get up on stage together, never played a song together, and then play off each other to produce professional sounding concerts. They way they were able to improvise and produce a joyful noise made me seriously think about finally learning to play the guitar!
I haven’t blogged too much about music or songwriting recently, but I signed up to attend the Austin Songwriters Group 8th Annual Songwriting Symposium this weekend and tonight was the first night…well it’s now past midnight as I’m writing this post. My voice teacher, Gene Raymond at Octave Higher, forwarded me a notice about it only a week ago and I figured ‘what the heck, I should go.’ So far so good. They had songwriters from Texas and Nashville singing their original music tonight. It was like having a semi-private concert given by very talented song writers in a smoke-free room where everyone was really interested in listening to the singers. In other words, people were focused on them and not talking to each other, trying to pick up dates, or drinking to excess. They were all so good and all of them said that no one goes into songwriting for the money. A guy named Jim Photoglo made a funny joke about marriage, sex, money, and songwriting but it’s probably not appropriate to write here. I’m looking forward to a guy named Sonny Throckmorton and a gal named Kimmie Rhodes talk about co-writing songs tomorrow (or shall I say later this morning).
Congressman Lloyd Doggett showed up since he’s a big supporter of the Austin music scene and gave a little speech. There were many references to some great country singers like Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, etc. because most of the music the singer/songwriters played this evening was country music. Whenever I hear country music, I remember a guy I worked with at Mr. Gatti’s pizza in high school who told me when I told him that I hated country music that it was because my heart hadn’t been really broken yet…and he was right. I get teary eyed when I hear good country music now.
I signed up to pitch my songs to one of three publishers who will be there on Sunday morning. We get 15 minutes with a publisher. I hope I’m brave enough to hum a few bars when it’s my turn because our songs are still in varying degrees of completion. I wish my songwriting partner could be there, but he’s too busy playing live gigs! We are hoping our schedules will allow us to finally record some of our stuff this year. I mean…come on…we have a facebook page for our two person band, so we have to accomplish something, right? Please go like our page: METAPHOR MANIA. I think we need 25 people to like it to remove the numbers from the URL so…do the right thing and wish me luck in pitching…I could use some positive affirmation right about now.
Here’s to a great new year! One has to be optimistic because the alternative is well not so politically correct to write about. Some people are predicting economic recovery and others doom, but no one has a crystal ball. There’s nothing new under the sun when it comes to human interactions, volcanoes, and icebergs, but it always seems so new to each of us. I suppose social networks and technologies like facebook didn’t exist in the dinosaur age, so that’s new. At any rate, I wish you peace, love and joy.
Below is the loving kindness meditation that I wish for you:
May you be happy.
May you be well in body.
May you be well in spirit.
May you be well in mind.
May you be at peace.
May you love yourself just as you are, in this moment.
May you be filled with loving kindness.
How many times have you wondered why someone does not see what you see or get what you get? How many times have people questioned you when you didn’t do something the way they might do it? Just as you’ve wondered why certain people are clueless, people have probably wondered the same about you.
I’ve had the opportunity recently to take some career assessment tests. They are like those tests you took in high school with a career counselor that told you that you should become a nurse, a teacher or you had no worthwhile skills at all. Well fortunately or unfortunately, I happen to have some skills/talents but some of them seem to be opposing. In other words, I have an unusual mix of abilities that can cause internal angst (surprise!). Most of them label me as someone who can do multiple things (Jill-Of-All-Trades) or in other words…shudder…an entrepreneur. This means I can be a geneticist, a trial lawyer, a pharmaceutical sales rep, a recruiter, a coach/counselor, sports writer (I have no clue about professional sports) or even a barista at Starbuck’s as long as they let me rearrange the entire operations at the coffee shop.
I did the Kolbe Career Index A with business coach & friend Michelle Ewalt. She gave me things to think about and questions to ask about potential career opportunities. I did the Affini-T assessment with a new Austin company called Affintus, and that one tested my math problem solving skills that I’d half forgotten since taking Algebra many moons ago! Earlier this year, I did the Strength’s Finder assessment. All presented similar results but presented them in very different, unique ways.
I think the most important takeaway for me was that we are all so very different in how we view and approach the world, our responsibilities, and careers. I have more understanding of someone when they don’t “get” how the things they do or say (or don’t do or say) can profoundly affect others, they don’t speak their mind, they can’t connect with people to form networks, or they get stuck and stay stuck instead of looking for alternative paths (common sense to me). I hope to develop more patience with myself & others when I or they aren’t able to research something completely, execute to completion, or build a magnetic based bullet train (quantum physics to me – ouch that hurts my brain). If we as parents and managers appreciated the differences and strength’s in people and let them do what they do best, we would create and build better, more sustainable businesses.
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! The purple Christmas tree was in the lobby of Emler swim school. It looks even more purple in real life. May those of you who celebrate Christmas receive the gifts (tangible and intangible) that you want and the blessings of the season.
You’ve probably heard life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. It’s true from my perspective. People react to proverbial bad news in different ways. I’ve been given bad news that in hindsight (or even on the spot) was actually great news! It usually doesn’t feel that way to most of us at the time it’s delivered though. I don’t know why some of us dust ourselves off, get back up, and re-invent ourselves while others sink deeper into the sofa. Believe me there have been many times that I’ve wanted to sink deep into the sofa and eat tons of chocolate, but something inside me (oh, and those two kids of mine who need to eat and go to school) makes sure I get up, eat just a wee bit of chocolate, and keep going. Fighting the demons inside your head can be the hardest thing to do, especially when your life has turned out differently than you envisioned or others envisioned for you.
A good friend of mine introduced me to Words With Friends (pretty much like Scrabble) and I’m hooked. My kids are hooked. I’m playing several games with several friends right now. Each game is different. I’ve lost most of them so far because it’s been so long since I’ve played Scrabble and the words that are OK in Scrabble/WWF are not always used in the real world. Plus, my kids (i.e., cute and cuddly meddlers) will all of a sudden play small words that don’t have a lot of points. Each part of your life is different. The basic rules, from my perspective, are the same but everyone is dealt a different hand, cards, letters and playing them the best we can is what counts. Also, I’ve found that shuffling the letters (i.e., your perspective) lets you see things you might not otherwise see.
So play the letters you are dealt. Sometimes you’ll make tons of points and sometimes you’ll make a few. Sometimes you’ll win and sometimes you’ll lose, but there’s always another game to be played. I’m curious as to how often people use the word “Qi” in their daily conversations?
The following is a guest post by Brittany Lyons. She aspires to be a psychology professor and is currently a blogger for an online PhD program. She wants to help people learn to navigate the academic lifestyle. She currently lives in Spokane, Washington, where she spends her time reading science fiction and walking her dog.
The iPad: A Parenting Tool?
The new age of mobile devices has influenced the way parents interact with their children. Even the youngest of children are often allowed to play with their parent’s cell phones, and now the iPad has been thrown into the mix. However, just as with any toy or device, allowing children to use an iPad has both its advantages and disadvantages.
An iPad can benefit children and help parents in several ways. It entertains children endlessly, and there are a number of games and apps are available that children of all ages to play. Besides serving as means for staving off boredom, the iPad can also be used as an educational tool. As educators and those with PhDs have discovered, mathematics lessons, alphabet practice and other activities make the iPad a useful addition for a learning environment. As a result, many schools even begun incorporating the iPad into classrooms to stimulate and reach children that may not respond to traditional teaching methods.
iPads can also be used to assist special needs child. The article “Adapting to the iPad, Called ‘Education’s ‘Equalizer’,” on USAToday.com, details how apps are available to help students with ADHD become more organized. For example, children can use iPad videos to learn how to perform daily tasks, such as hand-washing or getting dressed. Additionally, parents of autistic children have discovered that the iPad attracts their children’s attention like no other mobile or computer device. Autistic children are drawn to the stability and predictability of the iPad, and it allows them to feel safer than they do when interacting with a human. [Comment from Aruni: A friend of mine is behind an organization called Special Needs Apps for Kids so please check it out. SNApps4Kids is a volunteer community of parents, therapists, doctors, and teachers who share information on how we are using the iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch and Android devices with children who have special needs.]
Finally, while computer games and video games have often been used by therapists to improve hand-eye coordination, the iPad provides a high-tech alternative. There are a variety of games that can be played on the device that allow children to practice tracking objects visually before touching them on the screen. Better yet, not only do these games enable children to strengthen their fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination, but they also let kids learn academic material while having fun.
Despite all of the ways parents can use an iPad to help their children learn, there are risks associated with the device. Children may become dependent on the iPad and shun their peers and toys. This attachment can lead to temper tantrums when the parent tries to take the iPad away from the child. Similarly, the iPad does not encourage communication with other people, which is an important social skill for children to learn. The device also distracts children from playing imaginative games or from going outside to play. A final risk of letting children play with an iPad is the cost involved. Even if is a child is very careful when handing an iPad, there is a chance that they may break this expensive device.
Ultimately an iPad cannot replace a parent, so parents need to ensure that they interact with their children throughout the day. Parents should make a point to talk to their kids about how school is going and discuss homework assignments. Encourage family togetherness by playing board games or sports as a group. By avoiding using the iPad as a bribe or as the sole source of entertainment, parents will soon find a nice balance that can help their child learn and grow without interfering with other developing skills.
I think one of the main ways to survive parenthood (and life) is to have a healthy appreciation of being silly. Of course there is also the importance of being earnest. For some reason last night my kids were being extra silly. I had the opportunity to watch the 15+ kids in my son’s after school care program yesterday so the teachers could have their holiday party. I don’t know how teachers deal with all the different personalities. Just the few short hours I was there, I could pick out the bully, the insecure one, the mean one, etc. Over dinner, I expressed to my kids the importance of being understanding & kind as well as how much I appreciated them…of course they thought that was weird. Somehow that digressed into a discussion of very tall people and some other potty talk not appropriate for the blog but funny nonetheless, and understandable if you have kids.
My son wondered if a tall person never stopped growing (after a rousing discussion on the tallest person in the Guinness Book of World Records) what would happen if his bones kept growing after he died. He wondered out loud would happen if after this tall person disintegrated (don’t know how he knew this word) his bones kept on growing until the world was all dust. I told him that was impossible but quite an interesting story.
My daughter told a story about penguins. She said “Once upon a time, there was a penguin. And then the penguin turned into an ice cube. And then another penguin turned into an ice cube. While the penguins were ice cubes, they never stopped p**ping and the other penguin was never happy again because the penguin was so angry that he exploded.”
My son then told a story about a person who had very long hair who never stopped going to the bathroom (#1) and his hair fell in the toilet and was eaten by a crocodile so he became bald. But I told him that was highly inappropriate for the blog. Of course, they were laughing hysterically. I kept thinking how lucky I am to have such story telling kids. If they choose to write or blog, I’m sure they will be much better at it than I am.
Knowing what you want is a blessing and a curse. If you know what you want, then you know the usual paths of achieving it. You can improvise along the way, but if you know you want to be a singer, doctor, lawyer, teacher, pro football player, screen writer, monk/nun, landscaper, etc. you follow a prescribed path for the most part. It’s a curse because a) someone can decide you aren’t good enough, b) you actually aren’t good enough, c) you weren’t born into knowing the right people, or d) you always seem to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Most people do not become world famous singers, athletes, novelists, or movie directors.
Not knowing what you want is also a curse and a blessing because you can drift aimlessly wondering where you belong and in what you might be phenomenal. You can be strong at many things but unless you know that you want to be an entrepreneur, a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, Martha Stewart, Dilbert, a world class surgeon, a lawyer, etc., what you end up doing probably won’t feel like a custom made glove. The blessing part of not knowing what you want to be when you grow up is that you never had a burning desire to be Lady Ga Ga, so you aren’t as disappointed when you roll out of bed and you aren’t her. The blessing is also that you can decide to like what you are doing and find ways to make a difference and change the world in your own little non Lady Ga Ga like fashion and still have people think you are pretty cool.
My son says he wants to be a soccer player and my daughter says (only recently) that she wants to be a singer. I’ll see if I can steer them towards being a soccer playing physicist and a singing doctor. I wonder how that will work. Despite our best voluntary & involuntary attempts at showing them the life of an entrepreneur is not laced with candy, they might be crazy like us and commit entrepreneur-icide.
I’ve seen a couple of movies recently that were really good and one of them got me thinking about how some brilliant people are very insecure and miserable. The movie that made me think about this was My Week With Marilyn which is about Marilyn Monroe, Colin Clark, and Laurence Olivier. Michelle Williams is a fabulous actress and seemed to really capture what was going on with Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn was (and Michelle is) gorgeous and talented. Marilyn was portrayed as very insecure and needing drugs just to cope with the pressure. It made me think of Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison, Charlie Sheen, Owen Wilson, Woody Allen, etc. All very talented but some were/are miserable, neurotic, anxiety ridden, mean, and/or drug addicts, etc.
The other movie I saw was The Descendents with George Clooney. That was a very good, depressing albeit probably realistic movie. George Clooney is talented & handsome and so far the press hasn’t indicated his misery out loud.
The kids and I also saw Happy Feet 2 (good, happy, but unrealistic) about penguins who, with the help of other animals, get out of a death trap and Arthur Christmas (see previous parenthetical comments) about a modern day technology driven Christmas.
Thank goodness for movies. They let us escape our lives and get perspective by portraying the not so glamorous lives of other people.
I don’t know why but I really like the Bee Gees. Some of my favorite songs by them are Stayin’ Alive, Night Fever, How Deep Is Your Love, Don’t Throw It All Away, If I Can’t Have You, More Than A Woman, etc. I know it’s 70′s cheesy but oh well.
I love music and songs and lyrics because to me they portray the human condition better than any other form of artistic expression. It appeals to so many senses. Music helps us get through hard times and celebrate great times.
Here’s to Stayin’ Alive when you are faced with the things life throws your way…even when you are expecting it or half expecting it and are relieved or stunned by it.
I don’t’ have time to read many blogs these days, but I read about 98% of what Seth Godin writes on his blog. I keep meaning to buy and read more of his books, but time escapes me with the many things I’m juggling right now. I’m so glad he blogs!
I subscribed to his Domino Project emails. Watch this video. If you have kids. If you have a daughter. If you are a human being who has put yourself in the face of challenge and danger. If you want to know you are not alone, you must watch this video on Ted Talk. Sarah Kay is a “spoken word poet.” She starts with a compelling poem. She then goes on to discuss her loves of poetry and theater. She is young. She is beautiful and well spoken. Given her talent now, I wonder how she will sound after she actually has kids…or a daughter. Video is embedded below:
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