Calling All Breadwinning Moms!
Jun 22 2008
Nataly Kogan, founder of Work It, Mom!, just told me about a survey they are doing for working mothers who are the main breadwinners in their family (i.e., they have higher salaries than their husbands and foot the majority of the bills). If you are a breadwinning mom or know someone who plays one on TV or real life, go check out the survey HERE for a chance to win a Sony Reader prize pack. What a cool prize! Check out Nataly’s post called Breadwinner moms, listen up!
Since I took time off and then started working on Babble Soft from home, I have not had the opportunity to experience being the breadwinner mom. Prior to having kids, my husband’s and my salary was the same until I left our first company to teach, consult, and have kids. I’ve been wondering if I’ll ever make that kind of salary again!
I have a few breadwinning mom friends and the one common theme amongst all of them is that their husband a) either stays home with the kids or b) has a very flexible job whereby he takes off if the kids are sick, takes them to doctor appointments, buys the birthday gifts, helps with meal planning, etc.
Now, that I have my first come-to-the-office everyday job since the kids were born, I’m working my way back up the salary scale. However if I find a way to grow my company to the point that it more than sustains us, or if it gets bought by some fabulously generous company, then maybe I’ll get a taste of what it’s like to be the breadwinning mom in the house. 😉
If you are a breadwinner, regardless if you are a mom or not, please share how that affects your frame of mind or if you don’t even give it a second thought.
Author: Aruni | Filed under: working mom, working mother | Tags: breadwinning moms, Sony Reader competition, working mom, working mother | 9 Comments »
Aruni-
I have an interseting prospective…as my wife and I have made the same amount, I have been a full-time, stay-at-home dad (while she worked full time for 2 years), and I have been the primary bread winner while she has been home with the kids.
I have NEVER understood the whole debate on this issue. We are a family, and thus a team. The bottom line is the bottom line. We either make our budget or we don’t, but the pressure that society put on the “bread-winner” has not played out with the drama that journalists, bloggers and other have pontificated about.
As a family we have a lifestyle and financial goals, but the % of who earns what is not the real issue in my point of view.
I have a problem with surveys and studies that want to stereotype everyone. You just do what ya gotta do to make you life work.
That is my two cents.
thom
Thom — I respect your perspective but I guess I come at this differently. My husband and I are a team, but I’ve always been the one whose income supports the family. It’s put a lot of pressure on me and it’s not always been easy. I know many other women in a similar situation.
And one of the reasons we wanted to do the survey is to find out how moms who are breadwinners feel about it. To your point — what journalists think about this is one thing, what the actual breadwinners think might turn out to be something else.
Nataly-
Thanks for the reply, but your point of “It has put a lot of pressure on me and it’s not always been easy” is what bugs me about this topic and this type of survey.
Is it real pressure or do you put the pressure on yourself? (maybe your husband does, I dont know?). I think most of the things we stress about are self imposed. I do it all the time.
Just because I “feel” something does not make it so (or relevant to others). I think that for your survey to have power you need to ask tough questions that go deeper than just the FEELINGS of those you survey. “is the pressure self imposed?”. “does your spouse put pressure on you?”. “Does society put pressure on you and how?” , “Does you spouse appreciate you ?(not do you FEEL appreciated…two different things!) “Just because you “feel” pressure does that make it a fact?”. … and other such questions that make people think about the topic….not just pontificate feelings.
Does what people “think” really matter the most? If I think the moon is made of cream cheese does not make it so?
I don’t really mean to be a jerk here or play “devils advocate”…but I hope your survey will be about more than feelings.
Trust me, I had a lot of feelings about what it was to be a stay home dad, but the reality was sometimes different. (It was the hardest job I ever had, and I loved it all at the same time).
Good luck, and I hope I did not sound like a pig.
thom
Aruni made a good point to me…I have no idea what your survey asks, so I don’t know what your asking, or how people will respond.
I look forward to seeing the results!
thom
@thom – thanks for your comments. Those are great things to think about (i.e., why does someone feel the pressure).
@Nataly – I am interested in seeing the results. I’m wondering if women will have the same feelings/thoughts about being the main breadwinner as men.
I think Thom has a point here. In my opinion the pressure is self imposed. It’s all made up. We all have choices about how we live our lives. If you want to live a 12 hour day, always busy work life so that you vacation in Bali twice a year then that is your choice. If you want to live within your means, work fewer hours or spend half the day at the beach, that is also a choice.
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@Khurt – that’s true. We do often self impose our own pressures, but society has certain expectations of moms, parents, and what success means in certain careers.
I think we all struggle at different points in our lives to make things work in a way that makes sense to our own beliefs.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
I agree with Thom and Khurt.
It’s all a matter of choices, what is best for your family at that particular time in your life.
Who makes more is irrelevant.
Marie
maries last blog post..Think You Have A Problem With Procrastination?
@marie – thanks for the comment. As they say, we do what’s best for the family/group we are involved in. Sometimes one may earn more than another and the other takes on more responsibilities at home or elsewhere. As long as both parties feel that each is carrying their respective load of making the family work, then everything should be pretty good!