Double The Trouble But Double The Fun
Sep 2 2009
I haven’t done a parenting post in a while but I’ve been thinking recently about siblings. I always knew that if I was going to have kids, I was going to have two. I have a sister and despite the occasional hair pulling ups and downs, I wouldn’t trade her for the world! There were times growing up I probably would have traded her, but now I can’t imagine having made it this far without knowing she was there. Although we are very different in many ways and sometimes we don’t understand each other, we are the only two people in the world who have experienced our pre-college years living in the same house. We can reminisce about the good times, the bad, and our perfect dog.
My sister was the pretty/creative one and I was the smart/determined one. Some time in college I realized I was kind of pretty and some time before she got her Master’s she probably realized she was smart too. It’s funny how the labels we get assigned in a family stick with you even when you’ve left home for so many years. I learned a lot from her and was always amazed with what she was able to get away with. I always usually laid everything out on the line and tried to be hyper rational about things since I was a nerd, and she always seemed to know how to get what she wanted. We always had each other. Being the eldest, I would protect her when I could even though she might not remember all those times and even when it got me in trouble. I would bribe her to help me with rolling newspapers when I signed on for my first job, and by association I was a little less nerdy. As little kids we would laugh and play with each other, as older kids we fought and played, as adults and mothers we share.
And that’s why I wanted two kids. The thought crossed my mind for a nanosecond that I couldn’t survive another kid after our son was born. He didn’t sleep consistently through the night until he was probably 4 1/2 years old. He had night terrors and I finally concluded it was past life trauma that he was still trying to sort out. It was a horrible and sleep deprived hazy time. But even after a miscarriage and not sleeping for 2 years, I was determined to have another kid for him before my body couldn’t handle it and fortunately we were blessed with an angel of a girl who slept like a dream. At the time I kept thinking I don’t know if I’ll survive this but I was going to do what I had to do for him to have a sibling. Many of my girlfriend’s felt the same way since we all agreed giving birth and parenting was the hardest things we had ever done. We wondered if our parents felt the same way. Some of my friends weren’t able to have another one for unexpected reasons, but almost all of them wanted at least two kids for the simple reason of them having that shared bond with someone.
As I watch my kids play together, it makes my heart happy. They will run around the house, jump on the bed, and make each other laugh hysterically. They also make each other whine or complain that one is getting more than the other but mostly right now they play well together which gives us a break. They play hide and seek, they build a fort out of all the pillows in the house, they scare and tickle each other, they watch TV together, etc. They genuinely seem to like each other right now. As they get older, I’m sure having each other will hone their negotiation skills plus they will try to devise plans to outsmart us and I’m sure they will succeed!
I am so glad they have each other to share the great times and the inevitable not-so-great times. I hope they will always be there for each other and I hope they’ll be there to turn to each other (knock on wood) after we are long gone. At least they can share the burden of figuring out what to do with us when we get old and senile.
Yes, although I know we will probably have to deal with some sibling rivalry, I feel truly blessed that the greatest gift we were able to give them is each other.Author: Aruni | Filed under: parenting | Tags: brother and sister, night terrors, sibling rivalry | Comments Off