We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve
Oct 20 2012

Paul Rudd (high school English teacher) tells the main character (Charlie) in The Perks of Being a Wallflower that “We accept the love we think we deserve” when Charlie asks him why people are attracted to people who are not good to them or for them.  The movie was really well done and there were many humorous and thought provoking moments. The setting was in the 70s/80s when LPs, cassettes and mix tapes were still popular…brought back memories for me.

There are so many tragic love stories on screen and in real life.  I wonder how many people accept a dysfunctional type of love or avoid feeling love altogether because they think that’s what they deserve.   I also wonder how many people accept a dysfunctional work environment because they think they can’t find a better fit where they are valued.  It’s scary to leap toward the light of something potentially healthier when so often there is no one there to catch you.  Or when people you thought could be trusted, as in Charlie’s case, unintentionally led you to believe you don’t deserve to be loved the way you want or need to be loved.  But if we are to heal, we must leap and learn to catch ourselves with a little help from friends and family.

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