Archive for August, 2007
August 31, 2007
As some of you may know, I co-write articles on the topic of success for university alumni magazines with my wonderful writing partner Pam Losefsky. Our latest article for The University of Texas at Austin’s alumni magazine, The Alcalde, is about Robb Lanum, a husband, father of two and a writer with published script credits to his name. Robb blogs at the Robblog. Our goal with this endeavor is to get people thinking about what success means to them by reading about how others define success. Click here to see additional articles we have written.
A correction: The Alcalde gave me credit for taking the picture of Robb, but I did not take it since I live in Austin, TX and he lives in sunny CA. We conducted the interview over the phone. His lovely and very talented wife, Michelle Campion, took it. 
August 30, 2007
I know that people have strong opinions about co-sleeping but we found a happy medium. I strongly recommend using a co-sleeper 
that attaches/sits next to your bed for several months after baby is born. We used the Arm’s Reach Original Co-sleeper with both of our children. With our son we placed it right next to our bed. First on my husband’s side because I was recovering from a c-section so when he was hungry my husband would give him to me so I could breastfeed him. Later we moved it back to my side but I wasn’t able to get any sleep because he moved so much so we moved him back to my husband’s side.
Our son was in the co-sleeper for probably close to 8 
months. We started transitioning him to the crib around 6 months but it took us about 8 months to get him used to his crib. For several months he woke up so often that it was easier for us to keep him in our room. (This waking up every few hours sadly continued until he was over 3 years old…he still wakes up to this day.)
When our daughter was born, we put the co-sleeper at the foot of the bed (because we had a different bedframe and there was no footboard). This minimized the disturbances from movement that all of us experienced. She slept so well that we transitioned her to the crib at about 5 months. She is still a dreamy sleeper. Thank GOODNESS! The Co-sleeper also makes a great pack-n-play which we have used often. We still use it when we have visitors (because they stay in the guest room where her crib is) or when we go stay overnight with people who don’t have a crib or pack-n-play for her to use. It’s easy to assemble…not so easy for me to break down…but the positives drastically overwhelm the breaking down challenges. If you are thinking of co-sleeping, I encourage you to get a co-sleeper. Some people are comfortable sleeping with a baby in their bed but personally, I was downright nervous or shall we say petrified that one of us or the pillows/blankets would accidentally hurt them.
***
Note to new readers: these tips are based on our experiences, as well as those of our friends and readers. Please always consult with your doctor before implementing any tip that might impact the health of your baby. If you have a tip you’d like to submit please send an email to babblesoft blogger for possible inclusion. Please check the ‘baby tips’ category to make sure your tip (in some form or fashion) hasn’t already been posted. If it has been, feel free to comment on that post and support the tip. We also welcome respectful challenges to the tips because as is noted in our inaugural baby tip ‘everything is relative!’ We will, of course, give anyone who submits a tip we publish credit and a link back to their site!
Posted by Aruni
8:36 pm •
baby tips,
sleep •
August 29, 2007
Thanks to my rocket scientist hubby (yes, he really is a rocket scientist), you can once again contribute your deep, insightful comments on my deep, insightful (uh huh) blog posts. Apparently, the comments.php file got corrupted so we replaced it with the original and voila now it works. We also figured out the comments issue we had related to not receiving emails when someone commented. It was an oversight on our part…we didn’t realize that after installing the ShiftThis.net plugin, we had to put an email address in the SMTP page under the Options tab. Doh! To our credit though we didn’t happen upon the right documentation during our prior searches. I guess since we didn’t know what words to search on we picked the wrong ones. I’m sure the Wordpress.org support forum people hate us but honestly we had no idea and no time to figure it out. Still slogging through the Subscribe To Comments Plugin issues though. Our fortunes today might be the reason we can’t fix it today. There is always tomorrow to try again. 
On another note, we experienced some bad lunch time fortune cookie mojo today at FireBowl Cafe. Some other friends of ours have told us they got some weird ones at Pei Wei too. Usually, we get some lighthearted, fun, cool fortunes but now they are buying theirs from another company (maybe the Chinese companies responsible for all the lead paint in our kids toys also make fortune cookies) that are downright yucky. Here are the ones we got today…we got 2 more than normal to hopefully override the bad vibes from the first set.
- Today has been a disastrous day. If you can’t beat them join them.
- Anything you do today is bound to fail (can’t remember this one exactly but this is what we recall.)
- There may be a crisis looming, be ready for it.
- A couple of extra bucks could be floating in your direction. (this one was at least somewhat positive)
All I have to say is YEESH! Not a good thing for China…
Posted by Aruni
12:49 pm •
blogging •
August 28, 2007
To help illustrate how different people use Baby Manager, we have worked with some of our users to create touching, heart-felt user stories. I am grateful to the families who are willing to share their time, pictures, and energy to write/edit these case studies with us! To see our other user stories please check out our Testimonial page or click on the case study tag.
Erika’s Family: (pdf)
Mother: Christa (Marketing Entrepreneur)
Father: Robert (Software Developer)
Baby: Erika
Born: July 2, 2007
Place: Austin, Texas
Browser: Microsoft Internet Explorer 7.0
Situation
Christa and Robert both love technology and use it to help manage their lives so they acquired a subscription for Baby Manager before their baby arrived. They started using it about 5 days after Erika was born because Christa was having challenges with breastfeeding. She was experiencing unbearable pain so she began feeding Erika only on one side and pumping the other. After a meeting with her lactation consultant and pediatrician, Christa discovered the reason for her pain was that Erika was severely tongue-tied. When she discovered this, she quit breastfeeding and went exclusively to pumping until it could be corrected. She used Baby Manager to keep track of her pumping and Erika’s bottle-feeding activities to make sure she pumped enough milk for Erika. When Erika was 9 days old, she went in for surgery and within hours afterwards Christa was back to breastfeeding. Since her milk supply had decreased while she was exclusively pumping, it was imperative for her and Robert to make sure she was keeping up with Erika’s needs by pumping and breastfeeding regularly. Baby Manager helped them keep up with all of the activities. Before meeting with her lactation consultant, Christa would print out breastfeeding and pumping reports as well as bottle-feeding reports from Baby Manager. She and her lactation consultant reviewed the reports together and looked for patterns related to pumping, amounts, and how much Erika was taking from a bottle. In late August 2007, Christa started the transition back to work (part-time) and will continue to use Baby Manager to keep track of her feeding and pumping. She already has a computer set up at home for her nanny to use Baby Manager. Christa or Robert can log in from work and see how little Erika is doing at home.
Christa and Robert’s Experience:
Baby Manager has been a tremendous help! It enables us to be very organized with little effort and much reward. We use Baby Manager to:
- Easily monitor how often and for how long Erika is breastfeeding
- Track how frequently and how much I am pumping
- Initially so I could see progress on increasing my milk production
- Now to make sure I consistently pump each day to store milk for when I go back to work
- Run reports and see trends in feeding lengths each day, the number of bottles versus breast feeding, and more
- Remind me which side she fed on last (which is great for those feedings when I’m half asleep and can’t remember!)
- Track when we give her gripe water so we keep it adequately spaced apart
—End—
If you are interested in participating in your very own user story, please activate a FREE Trial. If you find Baby Manager works for you, you want to tell the world about your great experience using it, and you are interested in being a part of our media campaign, please email us at blogger at babblesoft dot com for more information and a hook-up. It’s not as big as the Harpo Hook-Up by Oprah, but it just might be what you need.
So for some random reason when you click on the Comments link on a post, the comments no longer show up. Everything was working fine earlier and then all of a sudden I can’t comment or accept comments from people on the blog. We are working on the issue. If you do have a comment you want to share, you can email me at blogger at babblesoft dot com and I’ll add it when we resolve the issue.
We are still having a problem with email notifications when people leave comments and we’ve spent weeks trying to figure that bug out but to no avail. I desperately want to activate the Subscribe to Comments Wordpress plug in, but since no emails are being sent, it’s kind of pointless to do so.
Oh the joys of open source software! Maybe I’ll wake up in the morning and it will miraculously be fixed. Yeah, right!
Posted by Aruni
9:45 am •
blogging •
August 26, 2007
I just finished reading The Art of War for Women – Sun Tzu’s Ancient Strategies and Wisdom for Winning at Work by Chin-Ning Chu. You may recall that I lost the free copy I got at the Working Mother Multicultural Conference (POWER: OWN IT. USE IT. SHARE IT.), so I wasn’t able to discuss the book in my original post.
This past week I found time to read it while the kids napped, at night when they were asleep, and once when I desparately needed some down-time and got a pedicure at Colorful Nails. I only read a few pages there because I also enjoy talking to the Vietnamese ladies who work there. They have such fascinating stories to tell about their lives and we chat about kids and work, etc. When my daughter was about 4 or 5 months old, I was home with her full time. Sometimes I needed some pedicure decompression time (about once a month), so I brought her with me and sat her on my lap so she could watch with interest. After she reached 9 or 10 months of age, she was no longer interested in sitting still on my lap. At $25 for a spa pedicure in a wonderful massaging chair, it can’t be beat!
After having read the book, I have to say it is a MUST read…especially for women in corporate America. What many people miss about Sun Tzu’s Art of War is that although he discusses how to achieve military victory, he also encourages we do so with the least amount of conflict and with a goal of attaining peace. In fact, he very much espouses the win-win philosophy because who wants to rule people who hate you for defeating them? I read excerpts of The Art of War in graduate business school in one of my favorite classes called The Art of Leadership. It was very hard to understand then and it now makes more sense after reading The Art of War for Women. On a side note, I wrote my semester paper in that class on The Celestine Prophecy and how the 9 insights can be used by effective leaders. The professor was skeptical at first but after reading it, decided to give me an A. But I digress….
Chin-Ning builds on this win-win sentiment and encourages us women to use our inborn unique skills of getting to positive solutions in our professional and family lives. However, as she walks through the chapters of Sun Tzu’s book she clearly emphasizes that it is not an easy road. To me the hardest and most important task is to “know yourself.” I, personally, have done self analysis throughout my life, but I have changed over time so it is a constant time-consuming exercise that I am never able to finish. It’s also very hard to get a clear picture of oneself because our image of ourself is derived from how we think others perceive us. But as she mentions “How well you know the world around you is directly proportional to how well you know yourself.” Personally, I think completing this task is about 90% of the battle! The other 5%, in my opinion, has to do with Timing (personal and universal) which she discusses at length in her book.
One of the more interesting quotes in the book to me is in Chapter 8.1 – Transform Your Blue Puppy into a Golden Muse. She says “Human beings come equipped with tons of different emotions – not all of them joyful. When we force ourselves to be happy all the time, we set ourselves up for self-criticism and a state of eternal unhappiness, because it is impossible to live up to such standards. No one can. I know many professional motivation authors and speakers who, when the splotlights go off, are more miserable than you or me. Sun Tzu warned against excess, explaining that extreme behavior – even good behavior – would always lead to an army’s defeat. If you try to please everyone all the time or to stay upbeat at all costs, you will bring about your own unhappiness. Even good intentions can bring bad consequences.” It’s so true. I think in the American society if you aren’t upbeat and happy all of the time then people think something is wrong with you. As Confucious said (and my mother often repeated) “Moderation In All Things!”
Chin-Ning uses easy to understand stories to illustrate her points. She even mentions that perfecting the art of pancake flipping will help you tap “into the state of perfect strength, perfect control, and perfect detachment. These are the attributes you need to fireproof yourself.”
She concludes the book with a discussion on Sun Tzu’s 13th chapter which highlights how to deal with espionage and con-artists. It made me sad to think that there are so many con-artists out there in the world. It also made me a little bit nervous about jumping fully back into the business world since I’ve been con-artist free in my business life since I left the last company I founded. Since we are bootstrapping (i.e., self-funding) Babble Soft at the moment, I have not run into customer or partner con-artists…probably because they are too caught up in their internal politics to con me and they probably wisely realize we don’t have enough money or fame to spend time trying to take it away from us yet! According to her book, they might turn out to be con-artists later so we have to be on guard constantly. Fortunately, I have only happened upon con-artists a few times in my business and personal life. I hope to be able to keep that number under 5, but my guess is that might be out of my control. Give me a jerk who is a jerk to my face and a jerk behind my back any day versus a person who is nice to my face and then stabs me in the back later! Looking back, I feel more sadness for those people than anger because in their weakness they lost something invaluable, and I gained something invaluable: experience and strength.
Congratulations to Chin-Ning on a long overdue book to lead us, as she states, into The Woman’s Century — it’s our turn to help shift humanity back to a balance between Yin and Yang using our unique skills and paths to success. I agree with Chin-Ning that we cannot follow another person’s path to victory, we must follow our own. We should learn from others but the terrain, personal timing, universal timing, and people we experience is different than anyone elses that has come before us, and we must use those differences to our advantage!
If you are a woman (or man) in corporate America, are married to a man (or woman) in corporate America, plan to go back to corporate America, and/or deal with corporate America in your small business, you need to add this book to your Amazon shopping cart and buy it NOW! (See below for the link!) If you are reading this post in a Reader or an email, the Amazon book image may not show up. You can click on the post title to see the actual blog post to see it…which I hope you do. Happy strategizing!
A few more posts to come on the conference:
August 24, 2007
I am not sure I would go to a mixer to meet a sitter but it looks like some moms would. I believe the sitters/nannies have already been screened, but I’m not sure. According to the article, they are “cash-strapped” college students looking to meet “sanity-strapped” mommies. I have used Hire A Longhorn to find some college help around the house with cooking/cleaning but I haven’t been comfortable using it to find someone to watch our kids when we are not here. Fortunately for us, the lady who runs the homecare our daughter goes to has babysat for us in the past and we have a teenage girl (who lives across the street) and her friend who also babysit for us. The huge plus with the teenage girls is that one of their moms is right across the street and can pop on over if they ever needed help. She’s a really neat person too. I also like the fact that there are two of them so they can manage both kids and talk to each other afte the kids are asleep. If neither the teenage girls nor homecare lady can do it, then we just don’t go somewhere!
MommyMixer provides a bonding experience for babysitters, mothers
By Jenny Miller
SPECIAL TO THE AMERICAN-STATESMAN
Thursday, August 23, 2007
On a recent evening, about 35 women ranging in age from their early 20s to their mid-40s packed into the 1940s bungalow that houses Kick Pleat, the quirky chic South Austin clothing boutique. They seemed excited, nervous.
A buzz was in the air, but it wasn’t over the 50 percent sale on summer dresses and shoes. These women were shopping for child care.
More…
Posted by Aruni
3:15 pm •
baby care,
mom,
mother •
TRANSFORMERS. MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE. TRANSFORMERS. ROBOTS IN DISGUISE. TRANSFORMERS. THERE’S NO PLACE TO HIDE. HERE THEY COME TO SAVE THE DAY! PLUS WHATEVER ELSE THEY ARE AND DO.
I have noticed that since my post about our son’s Transformer birthday party, that I’ve had a lot of people view the blog using search terms like “transformer party, how to throw a transformer party, transformer party ideas, transformer party stuff, etc.” There are more people out there looking for ways to put on a Transformer themed birthday party than I would have imagined! So I figured I’d share with the world how I went about hitting the stores last minute planning his party.
I first went to HEB plus and oddly could not find any transformer party stuff. I spoke to my best friend a week before the party and she said she could get the stuff for me at a HEB store near where she lived if I couldn’t find it here. I think they didn’t have it because the store near us is undergoing a serious layout/design change. I did find 24 packs of HEB brand crayons for 15 cents each! Yes 15 cents each! I couldn’t believe it so I bought 30 packs. I also ordered his transformer cake, a fruit/veggie tray, and some small bottled waters from HEB plus.
That same weekend, we rushed into a Party Pig (oh I love that name. I chuckle every time I say it) on our way somewhere (I can’t recall where) and they were out of the transformer stuff. I just learned that Party Pig was acquired by Party City (which explains why I can’t find a website for Party Pig). Party City is where I ended up finding what I wanted two days before the party. I got transformer themed:
- table cloths
- cake plates
- big cups to hold the party favors
- napkins, and
- a pinata
I also got:
- #5 candle and some extra candles
- a bag of Smarties candy
- pinata stuffing stuff (plastic straws, yo-yo’s, and other miscellaneous plastic stuff – my husband and son put the Smarties in the big cups before I could tell them those were meant for the pinata….at least all the kids got one.)
- coloring books (dinosaurs and sea animals) for something like $5.95 for 8 books! They made great party favors.
My husband and son set up the big cup favors and put a package of crayons and a Smartie into each of them.
On the day of the party, I went to HEB plus to pick up the cake, veggie tray, and a bag of ice (for the water bottles and Gatorade Propel water – no red juice was allowed). I wasn’t sure if the cake would be enough so I also picked up 2 dozen already prepared colorful cupcakes and it was a good thing I did!
The kids swam for about an hour, then we had cake, and then we let the kids hit the pinata (of course no blindfolds at this age). We had to make sure no little ones were in the way of any big swinging sticks. We forgot the stick at our house, so the people at Emler let us use the handle part of a broom they had! Thank goodness.
The kids had a blast. I had fun even though as hostess I didn’t have to get in the water. My husband went in so he could watch our 2 1/2 year old. Personally, I thought it was one of the more successful birthday parties we’ve held primarily because we went home with NO leftover cake and only 4 cupcakes (i.e., less for me to be tempted to eat)!
I hope this info is helpful for all of you trying to plan a transformer party for your kids! Our son also got a ton of great transformer gifts (his favorite one is a cool medium-sized Bumble Bee that makes noises and shoots out his hands), but that will probably have to be the subject of another post.
Posted by Aruni
1:31 pm •
Just For Fun •
I found a link to an article called Mums & Dads Best Managers on Stonyfield Farm’s blog called Baby Babble which was copied from an earlier Do Parents Make Better Managers? Forbes.com article.
Do Parents Make Better Managers?
by Hannah Clark
02.27.07, 3:00 PM ET
Perhaps business schools should start teaching parenting classes.
According to new research, parents–at least those committed to family life–actually perform better in the office. Researchers from Clark University and the Center for Creative Leadership in Greensboro, N.C., interviewed 347 managers and executives, mostly from large public companies, about their family lives. Then they talked to the participants’ colleagues, subordinates and bosses about their work performance.
Those who were committed to family life achieved significantly better reviews. The reason: Parents learn to multitask, handle stress and negotiate, says Marian N. Ruderman, research director at the Center for Creative Leadership, and one of the study’s authors.
“In parenting roles you get a chance to do a lot of the same things you do as a manager,” Ruderman says. “You get to hone your interpersonal skills. You learn how to develop other people. It’s another opportunity to learn from experience.”
More…
What do you think?
August 23, 2007
Since this blog is supposed to be about babies, parenthood, and business I figured it was about time to post a baby tip. Interestingly, one of the top most read baby tips has been the one on Increasing Milk Supply. I never thought so many people would be searching on “beer and increasing breastmilk supply!” I was surprised to say the least because I hadn’t heard of drinking beer when I nursed my babies a few years ago, plus I’m not a beer drinker. I think it has helped my cousin because the last time I spoke with her she was down to one formula supplement a day.
I was reminded of this tip while planning our son’s birthday party and from attending several others in the last few weeks. I tend to get birthday gifts a few days before the day of the party and I invariably forget to get a card for the birthday boy/girl. I think I purposefully forget because I just can’t bring myself to spend $3.00 to $4.00 on a card that will most likely be thrown away (hopefully recycled). A few years ago I discovered DLTK’s Custom Greeting Cards made by DLTK-Kids. The site is a bit cheesy at times, but within minutes I can print out a Spiderman, Batman, Princess, Dinosaur, Powerpuff, whatever card with a personalized greeting. They also have custom matching envelopes. When we are scrambling out of the door and I realize I need something to put the gift receipt in, I always turn to DLTK. It’s fast, it’s easy, and most importantly it’s FREE (if you don’t count the cost of paper and ink).
***
Note to new readers: these tips are based on our experiences, as well as those of our friends and readers. Please always consult with your doctor before implementing any tip that might impact the health of your baby. If you have a tip you’d like to submit please send an email to babblesoft blogger for possible inclusion. Please check the ‘baby tips’ category to make sure your tip (in some form or fashion) hasn’t already been posted. If it has been, feel free to comment on that post and support the tip. We also welcome respectful challenges to the tips because as is noted in our inaugural baby tip ‘everything is relative!’ We will, of course, give anyone who submits a tip we publish credit and a link back to their site!
Posted by Aruni
3:21 pm •
baby tips •
Some of you may have noticed that I’m experimenting with moving things around in my sidebars. I’ve also taken advice from Wendy at eMomsatHome and have begun monetizing the blog. Since I didn’t win the lottery, I will have to rely on other means to make money to support my entrepreneurial addiction!
So if you want to buy anything from Amazon (i.e., gift certificates, books, baby stuff, etc.) please use the Amazon links on our site as we will get a tiny cut of the transaction. Go ahead and add a gift certificate to your Amazon shopping cart right now by clicking on the Amazon icon. You know you want to!
I was also accepted into the BlogHer Ad Network and am looking forward to seeing some really relevant and nice ads from them. Finally, I submitted our blog for Text Link Ads. So far I’ve only had one Spammer try to buy an ad on the site, and I respectively declined.
The biggest change is still yet to be determined: A new blog header and logo. I have entered Randa’s Pimp My Blog contest and the last day for entries is August 24, 2007. I’m not sure how or if I can get more entry credits but here’s another plug for the contest. I really enjoyed reading her recent Blasts from the Past post. She points to several of her posts and guest posts she’s done in the last 7 months…there is some great stuff there!
Finally, since I’m moving away from the status of newbie blogger and into the realm of ‘know enough to be dangerous’ blogger, I realize now that breaking the 1,000,000 mark on Technorati was not something to brag about because I reached a rank of 500,000 fairly soon afterwards and now I’m at about 265,000. Which is great news but I’ve since discovered that it gets harder and harder to move up the higher you go because you are competing with all the other wonderful blogs out there run by professional bloggers! But if you subscribe to my feed (hint, hint) and ADD Babble Soft’s Blog to your Technorati favorites (hint, hint), the higher we’ll be ranked and more amazing people like you will find our blog!
Posted by Aruni
8:30 am •
blogging •
August 21, 2007
I am so excited to say that I was given the honor of guest posting on Wendy Piersall’s eMoms At Home blog. The title of the post is Entrepreneruship: A Blessing or a Curse? Wendy has been an inspiration to me and her posts have helped me immensely with getting my blog transferred to a self-hosted Wordpress platform. Her tips on how to let the world know that our blog exists have been invaluable!
Thanks Wendy for this fabulous opportunity. Please visit her site and leave your great and profound comments there.
Last week I had a dream that I won the lottery so for the first time in years (maybe decades) I bought some Texas Lottery Tickets. I figure if I had a dream about winning that was as good an excuse as any to play. After dropping my son off at pre-school, I stopped by a couple of gas stations to buy some. The first two either didn’t sell Lottery tickets or their ticket machine was broken…maybe I should have stopped right then….but then I proceeded to the next one and played. It had been so long since I had played that I didn’t remember how to do it. I ended up getting some quick picks for the standard lottery and then I learned about this new one called Mega Millions. The jackpot was $85 million so I said to my self ‘Why the heck not! If my husband can spend $3.00 a day on coffee from Starbuck’s, I can certainly buy a few lottery tickets!‘
So $10 later, I realized that maybe I would have enjoyed a decaf chai latte instead of giving away $10. However, I don’t feel too bad because they say the money goes to help education in Texas. I still haven’t figured how they are making education better here in Texas because we don’t have the top public schools in the country (although AISD has done fairly well in the past few years). I figure if my $10 makes its way into a well deserving teacher’s pocket and/or to buying computers/supplies for a poor school, it was worth it.
While doing this post I saw that the Mega Millions jackpot is now $91 million….I wonder if I should ”donate” more of our money to help education (over and above our taxes). Maybe my dream pertained to this week? If I don’t try I might be losing out on a fortune. I can see why people prone to addiction could get addicted to gambling!
Posted by Aruni
6:30 pm •
Just For Fun •
August 20, 2007
Picture by: Rohanna Mertens of Doug Goodman Photography
Soon after discussing The Art of War for Women at the Working Mother Multicultural Conference (POWER: OWN IT. USE IT. SHARE IT.), we headed into another room to listen to speakers on a panel called From the Mouths of Men: What it Takes to Put Women in the Corner Office. This was the first time they had a panel of men at the conference, and I hope they do it again next year.
The men were put on the spot on several occassions with questions ranging from Why aren’t women included in men’s social get togethers (e.g., lunches, dinners, golf outings, etc.)? to Why are women overlooked for certain promotions?
The speakers from left to right are:
They did a great job at answering the questions honestly. Michael admitted as a young staff that he was ‘clueless’ for quite some time on the diversity issue. He thought he was being inclusive but after time had passed, and having banged his head against a wall a few times, he realized that he just didn’t get it. While rising up through the ranks at Ernst & Young, he and others saw women disappearing over the years so that by the time they were approaching Partner status there were very few women around. He said about 8 years ago, Ernst & Young started helping its people focus on inclusiveness issues. Through the many gender/ethnicity programs Ernst & Young delivered around inclusivity, Michael said he finally “GOT IT.” He, personally, came to the conclusion that men have to understand that women use different language to convey their interest in a position. For instance, if he asked a man if he wanted to be a Partner, most often he would get a “Hell Yes!” answer but if he asked a woman the same question she would respond with “I’m not sure.” Now many of us women have been trained to act like men and say “Hell Yes!” when we really feel like saying “I’m not sure,” and he admitted that it’s up to the men (and everyone in the workplace) to make sure that the “I’m not sure” response is addressed. For example, he has learned to ask “What information do you need to help you make your decision?” before jumping to the conclusion that she is not interested.
Tyronne was hilarious! When someone asked the question regarding “How do we get more women in higher positions” he said “Tell them to go start a company!” Of course I smiled at that one because I am an entrepreneur! He also answered the question regarding “Why aren’t women included in men’s social get togethers?” by saying “Just show up!” Many of us felt like we couldn’t do that but he said that if his boss schedules a meeting that he was not invited to and he knows he can add value, he just shows up!
Ron (who is holding the Power wand) admitted that women are measured by different criteria and have a different playing field. It is still not a level playing field, but his group within IBM works constantly to change that. He also said that part of the reason men rise faster in corporate America has to do with their portrayed confidence and their inclination to watch each other’s back. They are more likely to spend time understanding the company’s culture and tell another guy “Hey, don’t wear that shirt. The boss hates that color” than women are. Women tend to feel that the other women in the office will figure it out eventually, but in the meantime she’s hurt her chances and also made others wonder why no one told her not to dress that way. If you came to an interview dressed in a nice business suit, you should not show up on your first day wearing hardly any clothes and big hoop earrings. The company didn’t hire that person…they hired the person they interviewed! That makes total sense to me. Finally, he emphasized the importance of women networking together to coach and mentor each other as well as support the development of colleagues who are earlier in their careers.
As the moderator, Stephen was asking all of the hard questions and keeping the talkative panelists on track, so we didn’t get to hear his perspective on things, but when I met with him afterwards he gave me his card and told me he would introduce me to someone at Diversity Business.
All in all, a great panel. I stayed well after it was over to meet each of them and exchange cards. Now is where I tell the story about the blue top I was wearing. After the panel, I spoke at length with Tyronne and he asked me “Weren’t you the person wearing that brilliant blue top during the ‘Same-Race Discussion – How Are You Powerful’ presentation yesterday?” I said “Why, yes that was me!” He said when he heard me speaking he could tell I had confidence and power and that I should not have uttered the words “shameless plug” when talking about my business. He told me that I was here at this conference to network and to make people aware of my company, and I should not be ashamed of plugging it! I agreed and said I did that because one woman before said the same thing about her business, and I was worried that the audience might think I’m being too ‘out there’ with my business. He said don’t apologize, “seize your power and share it with the room!” OK, I don’t think he said those words exactly, but I felt empowered after hearing his words of encouragement and a little relieved that the 700 (yes 700) other people (of which 96% were women) in the room might not have been saying ‘Tsk. Tsk. Who does she think she is? Does she think she’s better than me?‘ under their breath while I was speaking and that I might not have been judged too harshly.
I feel fortunate to have met these great men!
August 19, 2007
We never would we have guessed that our 5 year old son would like High School Musical 2 so much. A few months ago, we had the TV on Disney Channel in the evening (which is rare) and High School Musical came on. He loved it! He loved the music, the dancing, and the singing. We liked both of the shows because they are nice, sweet, fun and seemed more deserving of a G rating than many of the kids cartoons that are on today! There is no violence, no gratuitous wearing of skimpy outfits, no cussing, etc.
So High School Musical 2 premiered on Friday, August 17, 2007, and we DVR’d it. He has wanted to watch it constantly….when he’s playing with his toys he likes to have the music in the background. My husband even downloaded some of the songs from iTunes to put on his iPod so they could listen to it in the car.
Our son’s favorite part is where the baseball players are dancing and singing the song I Don’t Dance. The music is so catchy. Our 2 1/2 year old will watch about 10 minutes of it, but then gets bored and wants to do something else, but she likes the songs! My favorite song is You Are The Music in Me.
I am not surprised that High School Musical 2 has already broken TV rating records (per the New York Times). I hope they continue to make more shows like this one that the whole family can enjoy.
Posted by Aruni
1:28 pm •
Just For Fun •
