Those Darn Fortune Cookies!
Oct 9 2007

Those fortune cookies I wrote about back on August 29, 2007 are still haunting me today.  Not only is that post consistently in the top 5 viewed posts because tons of people are doing searches on the term ‘fortune cookies’ for some reason, but also during the weekend of September 22, a reporter from the NY Times contacted me after reading that post about a story she was doing on the appearance of these not-so-great fortunes in Chinese restaurants around the country.

I was more than willing to help her out with the story.  It sounded like fun.  Coincidentally, I was planning to have lunch with a good friend at the same restaurant (Fire Bowl Café) where I got those bad fortunes that following Monday.  When I told my friend about the story she told me that her friend, Karyn Turnbull, had a weird fortune cookie experience at that same restaurant a while back during the time of her engagement.  After grabbing a bunch of fortune cookies which seemed ‘normal’ because apparently they switched suppliers, I spoke to the reporter and subsequently put her in touch with Karyn.   

So the story — Don’t Open This Cookie (Disastrous Day Inside) – ran on the FRONT page of the New York Times Business section on October 8, 2007 (Columbus Day so the kids were off from school) and my quote got cut during the editing process because of space issues.  The reporter was nice enough to give me a heads up the day before so I wasn’t surprised, but I have to say the wind was taken out of my sails temporarily because who knows when I will get the chance to have my name, my company’s name, or my blog name on the FRONT page of the New York Times Business section (an entrepreneur’s dream) again! 

So I write this post to illustrate that the life of an entrepreneur can be an emotional roller coaster.  On Saturday, October 6 I found out I was named an SOB (Yay!) by Liz Strauss and on Sunday, October 7 I found out I would NOT be mentioned on the FRONT page of the New York Times Business section.  Sigh.

But after some blah time and telling my 5 year old son in a humorous tone while tickling him that I was NOT going to be mentioned on the FRONT page of the business section of the New York Times and him asking me ‘what does that mean mommy?’ while laughing, I thought to myself maybe the reason the reporter found me was, in fact, to be connected to Karyn so that Karyn would get the opportunity to tell her fortune cookie story.  So that Karyn and her soon-to-be husband would have a story they could tell for the rest of their lives…to their kids, their grandkids, and their friends.  Who am I to feel bad about that! 🙂

Since this is my blog, I’m the editor, and I don’t have space constraints here is the rest of Karyn’s story:

The other half of our story… After Eric got the ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” fortune, he opened his second cookie, looked over at me, and said “sweetie, I think I got yours.” It said “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine.” Both of those will be going into our wedding album! 🙂   We thought it was pretty funny. All of the fortunes I got that day were pretty boring and standard though. I don’t even remember what they said.

So Congratulations Karyn…may your wedded life be blessed with good fortune!

Now for a plea to my readers:  If you like this post, I’d be pleased as punch if you Stumbled Upon it and/or Digg (or is it Dugg) it.  I know I won’t get as many readers as I would have IF I had in fact been on the FRONT page of the New York Times business section (yeesh) but maybe I can come close with a Stumble or Digg or two. 😀

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Musings of a Texas Gal in NYC – From the Mouths of Men
Aug 20 2007

 
Picture by: Rohanna Mertens of Doug Goodman Photography

Soon after discussing The Art of War for Women at the Working Mother Multicultural Conference (POWER: OWN IT. — USE IT. SHARE IT.), we headed into another room to listen to speakers on a panel called From the Mouths of Men: What it Takes to Put Women in the Corner Office.  This was the first time they had a panel of men at the conference, and I hope they do it again next year.

The men were put on the spot on several occassions with questions ranging from Why aren’t women included in men’s social get togethers (e.g., lunches, dinners, golf outings, etc.)? to Why are women overlooked for certain promotions?

The speakers from left to right are:

They did a great job at answering the questions honestly.  Michael admitted as a young staff that he was ‘clueless’ for quite some time on the diversity issue.  He thought he was being inclusive but after time had passed, and having banged his head against a wall a few times, he realized that he just didn’t get it.  While rising up through the ranks at Ernst & Young, he and others saw women disappearing over the years so that by the time they were approaching Partner status there were very few women around.  He said about 8 years ago, Ernst & Young started helping its people focus on inclusiveness issues.  Through the many gender/ethnicity programs Ernst & Young delivered around inclusivity, Michael said he finally “GOT IT.”  He, personally, came to the conclusion that men have to understand that women use different language to convey their interest in a position.  For instance, if he asked a man if he wanted to be a Partner, most often he would get a “Hell Yes!” answer but if he asked a woman the same question she would respond with “I’m not sure.”  Now many of us women have been trained to act like men and say “Hell Yes!” when we really feel like saying “I’m not sure,” and he admitted that it’s up to the men (and everyone in the workplace) to make sure that the “I’m not sure” response is addressed.  For example, he has learned to ask “What information do you need to help you make your decision?” before jumping to the conclusion that she is not interested.

Tyronne was hilarious!  When someone asked the question regarding “How do we get more women in higher positions” he said “Tell them to go start a company!”  Of course I smiled at that one because I am an entrepreneur!  He also answered the question regarding “Why aren’t women included in men’s social get togethers?” by saying “Just show up!” Many of us felt like we couldn’t do that but he said that if his boss schedules a meeting that he was not invited to and he knows he can add value, he just shows up! 

Ron (who is holding the Power wand) admitted that women are measured by different criteria and have a different playing field.  It is still not a level playing field, but his group within IBM works constantly to change that.  He also said that part of the reason men rise faster in corporate America has to do with their portrayed confidence and their inclination to watch each other’s back.  They are more likely to spend time understanding the company’s culture and tell another guy “Hey, don’t wear that shirt.  The boss hates that color” than women are.  Women tend to feel that the other women in the office will figure it out eventually, but in the meantime she’s hurt her chances and also made others wonder why no one told her not to dress that way.   If you came to an interview dressed in a nice business suit, you should not show up on your first day wearing hardly any clothes and big hoop earrings.  The company didn’t hire that person…they hired the person they interviewed!  That makes total sense to me.  Finally, he emphasized the importance of women networking together to coach and mentor each other as well as support the development of colleagues who are earlier in their careers. 

As the moderator, Stephen was asking all of the hard questions and keeping the talkative panelists on track, so we didn’t get to hear his perspective on things, but when I met with him afterwards he gave me his card and told me he would introduce me to someone at Diversity Business.

All in all, a great panel.  I stayed well after it was over to meet each of them and exchange cards.  Now is where I tell the story about the blue top I was wearing.  After the panel, I spoke at length with Tyronne and he asked me “Weren’t you the person wearing that brilliant blue top during the ‘Same-Race Discussion – How Are You Powerful’ presentation yesterday?”  I said “Why, yes that was me!”  He said when he heard me speaking he could tell I had confidence and power and that I should not have uttered the words “shameless plug” when talking about my business.  He told me that I was here at this conference to network and to make people aware of my company, and I should not be ashamed of plugging it!  I agreed and said I did that because one woman before said the same thing about her business, and I was worried that the audience might think I’m being too ‘out there’ with my business.  He said don’t apologize, “seize your power and share it with the room!”  OK, I don’t think he said those words exactly, but I felt empowered after hearing his words of encouragement and a little relieved that the 700 (yes 700) other people (of which 96% were women) in the room might not have been saying ‘Tsk. Tsk. Who does she think she is? Does she think she’s better than me?‘ under their breath while I was speaking and that I might not have been judged too harshly. 🙂

I feel fortunate to have met these great men!

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